Scribbles from my Journal

Living in Sandton Johannesburg

It has been two years since living in Sandton.  And Girrrrrl let me tell you this has not been the easiest road. I felt I voiced a lot of relatable experiences in my lengthy Convo series. That I wanted to start a New One based off living away from Home as a 20 something year old.

 

Hold Up Wait a Minute let me put my 2 Cents in it

When I relocated from Cape Town I was the first among my peers to dare. I just had my Matric certificated failed attempts at studying. A job in the communication / retail industry and a heart full of enthusiasm for all and more.

My bae Shaka and I were on the edge of dreaming big. I mean bigger than we ever had before.  To move in together. To travel together and hustle together for more. We had not much too loose but our rooms in our parents home.  I guess our dignity if we had to fail. But  ahduh if you don’t know this yet then let me tell you. Failing is growth so either way there wasn’t that much at stake.  You can’t learn from something you haven’t failed at .

Shaka has traveled many times before. I on the other hand did not.  His been to Germany , Las Vegas his been to Jhb More than I can remember. He has traveled on temporary basis  but living in another city is a whole other dimension and to do this together was a New experience for each one of us.

We were dating for 5 years in already.  We never had on and off break up’s . But we  always toughen up through any one of  our fair share ” running on empty experiences”. You know what I mean?  We were past  the infatuation stage and ready to venture big in the real world.

 For more on what it was like relocating click over here

Brace yourself you in for a lengthy one grab a cup of Tea

I am one of those control freaks who is set on being my version of successful. I like so many others dared to relocate for my version of success. I am still trying to figure out what exactly that is. All I know is that right now I am not even close to it

Sandton compared to where I am from is way more

  • Diverse (most people living in Sandton are from all corners of Africa and beyond)
  • People are genuinely more friendly
  • Yes it is a faster pace life compared to Cape Town (Things happen quickly All executive decisions starts here. One Minute people are on a flight and then they back in the office) It is speedy gonzales
  • The opportunities are insane (in every good way) Think about it Sandton is the heart beat of South Africa’s economy
  • Work Culture is lit in so many ways (lunch is so not a thing people don’t just go to work and go home. There is always a network sesh or social happening during the week)
  • Lifestyle is way more than just your personal taste in things. Especially here. The lifestyle in Sandton is about connection and people and wait for it… Travel
  • Success is all around Sandton it never feels far from you

There are a ton more but to give you the just that is my core of why I am still here.

The struggle is Real

My Only heart felt struggle is that I am not synced into any of the above. I am still trying to figure my life out . I found difficulty to thrive in any of the above. I must be doing something wrong. I cant be in the space that I am in. With all that surrounding me and not be flourishing with all the areas I have mentioned.

  • Finding a different company to grow in was a major thing to do on my list of thriving
  • Earning a ton of money in order to save and study or travel ties into this
  • Networking I am getting way better at. Learning how to not just be friends with friends but to find the courage to actually build contacts from those friendships.  I know people who know people but I have never been strategic to thrive with my friendships. I seriously don’t know whats wrong with me. I am afraid I guess of people assuming I want to use them. #OverthinkerStruggles

I feel that for the past two years and counting so much cool things has happened and I have grown a ton but In terms of my goal flow I am in the same place as before . I haven’t been achieving the “big stuff”.

There have been a few times where I was just too hard on myself and of course wanted to throw in the towel over here

I had a lengthy Convo with my Mom a few days ago. About this and things we generally don’t talk about. This was a 45 min call . I was on the roof top of where I work .  I Had a good cry and just soaked in the energy of the sunset and busyness of  Sandton. The sun was a gorgeous pink with red and yellow undertones . People were literally walking below the building with suite cases on their way to the Gaustation. The horizon of the skyscrapers were finding rest while the work day came closer to an end. Traffic was at it’s peek already and on the other side of the building you could view the peacefulness of the residential estates.

To be honest I am puzzled I just came through piecing my emotions together. This Blog space is the coolest ventilation machine ever. Sharing this for the heart that is meant to read it. Blows breath into my journey. I shared this with you guys because I know what it is like to get advice from a turtle instead of a giraffe.  You can’t explain to a giraffe what a turtle can only understand. Td Jakes couldn’t have said it any better over here

You wanna move down ?

 By all means I say do it.  You don’t have to move here permanently.  You can always transfer back to wherever home is for you. I haven’t met any one my age that wanted to be here till the end of time. We always yearning for more. I see myself settling down in Cape Town. But I feel comfortable here now. Of course I don’t want to be here for quite too long. The bae and I do want to travel and live and work abroad.

 My advice

Things never go according to plan & our paths won’t be alike if you had to try. A lot of my friends found Job success way quicker than  I did. Some never liked it. But from my experience there is more positives than negatives that came out of daring to do this.  You live you learn and grow.  It is always easy to attain everything. The hard part is to maintain it kinderish but what is even harder is to afford to have more.

The following is normally factors to consider when relocating things I thought about but didn’t fathom until I experienced it myself.

Traveling 

I have had many instances where I was in the position well we were , the bae and I. To splurge on a car but we both live and work walking distance from work. So was it really going to be beneficial? We want to travel and we were both in agreement that we don’t need a car right now and right here. Public transport I have never had an issue with around Sandton. When we need to travel a bit further out we go along with friends Uber or Sleep Over. Young Wild and Free Vibes.

Crime

I have never felt uncomfortable or unsafe around Sandton. Of course their are incidents that occur like everywhere else. I read the Sandton Chronicle.  But nothing dramatic traumatized me other than my own emotional drama like I can never win chants.  Fortunately where I have always lived. We have boom gates and private security. My previous studio apartment came with a panic button , home alarm , gate control. But remember nothing is guaranteed. You just have to be cautious and use your common sense to avoid crime. We were at a bar once in Braamfontein. We had a great time and then there was this obvious drunk f@!% who wanted to get slutry with me. And we just left and went to a better bar that we wouldn’t have found if that never happened.  So remain positive at all times.

Rentals

Look there are places that are expensive and there are places which is reasonable. Our first studio apartment was in Rivonia which was super convenient for work and traveling.  We paid R4400 for an open plan studio living pad. We had a garden pool and tennis court. Security. Laundry could be done on the premises.  This included water and electricity. Partial furniture was added too. It was enough room for the two of us. We had  and spacious if we had people over. The landlord was just such and ass. Over time as per normal rent does increase and you just get over all your landlords B@!3s%&*

Living Expenses

Compared to Cape Town Spaza shops is not a thing around Sandton. Spice shops are ridiculously over priced here compared to home. Here is no stores like Shoprite Pep or Makro. You have to travel out. In a nutshell food and essentials watch out for checkers and PnP  and WoolWorths specials. They worth the pocket change that you will have left.

Ask For help

People are generally willing to guide or advice you if you had to ask. Reach out to people in a sincere manner. I know what it is like to be in a new town overwhelmed by your own expectations. I had so much pride I eventually had steam coming from my ears after running empty not knowing how to cope at times I feel like I have failed. Try chatting to a stranger which is quite normal that’s how friendly people are here. Your uber driver the gaubus driver. The person next to you on a bench. The always approach you in a non judgmental way.

Call Home

Those calls home meant everything to me especially in the beginning before things even got hard. I feel like it’s always best to not call just when you in trouble but make up for the time missed out. Ask what’s for supper. How your grandparents health are. If there is anything new and how the things are that may be old. Besides people cant help but share tragic news either which are golden convos that remind you why you in a new place and never loose sight of that ultimate reason. No matter how home sick you are. Video calls are the funniest. Pretending to fake phone freeze. The time whatsap call had no audio and I would write down my response on post notes and show it to the camera.

In case of Emergency

Have that savings account for that emergency rush to the hospital or flight home whatever. Get that credit card and be wise with it. Also have your ducks in a row register a local gp in your new city and keep your secondary gp at home. Find out what your registered hospital is for your medical aid plan. Update your emergency contact No. Have a emergency list in your new home. For private cabs or the local police station. Whatever you can think of in case of emergency. Have them thought out practically.

 

 

 

 

Scribbles from my Journal

Top 10 Entrepreneur Secrets

How to stop being just an employee by Keith Camelon Smith

This is a bit different for me. This is a sort of Book review but real talk entrepreneurship session. If you read Sticky Situations in Sandton.  You will know that after high school I struggled. I knew I couldn’t go study like everyone else. I needed to get a job. More importantly I needed to gain experience because everyone was looking to hire someone with experience.

 It was really tough I tried a lot of things. That year 2013 I sat at home basically unemployed.  I wasn’t really at home all day but that’s what they say when you don’t have a permanent J.O.B. I would go with Shaka to the library and apply to available vacancies and varsity even though I knew I had no money. I applied to nonpaying internships. A lot of the places I mailed never advertised nonpaying internships.  I just requested anyway. While I was on Cape Town Tv . That’s right but for now let me digress. 

Start Up Company experience

I interned at a startup registered company called DMC. My role was to market this start up on social media. It was BEE registered. I was in the process of being signed up legally for shares. Even though the company wasn’t really making money yet. I just absolutely lived each day for this experience.

I went with them to apply for tenders. Went to the manufacturing and supply headquarters. I even got to attend seminars and SMME workshops .Every day we had something lined up.  I corresponded with sales and marketing divisions from local shopping center management.

 Learning the how to and being exposed to entrepreneurial culture.  I worked with the owners. For 4 months till things fell apart. I learned on the go however the co-founder gifted me this book How to stop being just an employee by Keith Camelon Smith. 

I read it from start to finish.  There is nothing complicated about this book. l felt that the language used was easily understandable for my age at the time . The lessons learned in the book can vary. It’s not only about how to be a better boss but how you as an employer view your employees.  What the difference is between the two also.

I read this book years ago. It was 2013 I was 19 years old. I wrote a few things down in my journal.

Here are a few tips from the book. 

  • Differences between rich and poor is the mindset. Your mind is more important than your bank account. Don’t measure your dreams by the value in your bank account. You can’t be a rich person with a poor mindset. 
  • Train yourself to have a rich mindset. Whatever the brain can conceive it can achieve .The mind is strengthened at its best when it overcomes fear .What are you afraid of failing? If you don’t fall you will never know how to get back up. It’s a part of learning and knowing how to do better. 
  • Business is about people and learning how to relate and communicate with people. 
  • Connect and communicate with people in ways that inspire them to take action

Not giving too much away. No spoilers alert. If you can give this book a go. It took me a total of 4 evenings. To read and comprehend and journal notes. I think this is relevant to your day to day job and blogging spirit. 

Comment down below if you know the entrepreneurial struggle. What self-help books has guided you xoxo T

Scribbles from my Journal

20 Things for My 20 something Bucket List

Oh Miss Golly Molly here it goes… My declaration to myself before you

First off if you don’t know Your girl Shameless you welcome. Shameless Manifesto you can find here 

Shameless Maya – YouTube

“What would happen if I shamelessly promoted myself for 365 days?” My channel started out as a social media experiment and now it’s a lifestyle. I hope my jo…

so why are we being introduced to Maya when I am suppose to tell you about how I am going to kick ass with my Bucket List. Well stating this online and doing this in my personal time. Is measured on two different scales.  Maya has helped me in my personal time. If she has for me then hopefully she can pull through for you. 

Sharing this with You

Today the 21 July 2017. I declare that I will Embrace My 20’s. I will live for working hard on meaningful ventures. I will be active in community & will love and connect with people around me.  I will see the world beyond the parameters of South Africa’s back doors. I won’t limit my dreams based on my bank account. I have 7 Year’s to complete my 20 something Bucket List.

In my previous post I have listed how I got this situation started. I have looked at 4 areas and have listed 20 “must do items ” that I will have to complete before I am 30.

Here is my 20 Something Bucket List

Embrace the 20’s

  1. Find my personal Fashion Style. To rock Tutus and take as many pictures that will last for ages. Those vintage style images of my 20 something fashion Chronicles.
  2. Apartment Living Oasis . I always wanted a studio Apartment so now that I have been able to live in one. I really want to make effort into turning everyone of my living spaces into an oasis.
  3. Host and Attend epic home dinner parties and game nights. I want to experience night life. Attend socials as often as possible.
  4. No matter how far away from Home I am . That I will always post letters to my girls. My best friend , my cousin, God Daughter and Sister.

Shaka

  1. We are going to live in L.A & The U.K
  2. We have to do more fun things as far as possible. Anything spontaneous and childlike. Including Kissing more.
  3. To study together whether it may be a short course or longer stuffies . We going to do this.
  4. Most importantly sharpen our faith. To be more active in all things Rivers (our church) and just know more about God together.

Community

  1. Get connected. When I moved to Sandton all my neighbors walls were gigantic we hardly knew our neighbors. I want to get to know my neighbors each one of them Even if they don’t like me.
  2. To vote and be registered in my community
  3. Take on Charitable Projects which are self hosted
  4. To engage in community drives and activities

Relationships

  1. Host a big Christmas with Family & Friends
  2. To have quality time spend with people who surround me
  3. Talk more to my grandparents
  4. Have the ultimate Girls Trip

 Work

  1. Build a name in the digital Space
  2. To Build a community of online friends
  3. My goal is to create long lasting friendships from my online buddies
  4. #goals to grow this into a full time creative thing. Wouldn’t  it be ideal to have this your 9-5 job

 

Scribbles from my Journal

How to create a 20 something Bucket List

How easy is starting a Bucket List

At first I didn’t find doing a bucket list online as easy as everyone else . I really had to think about mine. I googled examples but I couldn’t relate to the first few samples I saw. Do you know the feeling?

Whenever I am puzzled in ways I want to find personal growth. I try and paper my thoughts. I take a step back from what I am doing. Scribble in my journal. Mind map where I am at.Make notes of What is it that I would like to be better at . The next obvious step is to be practical with the how and take action of course.

Real talk advice from a school Teacher

I learned this from a high school teacher. I remember being bitter at the way I looked . I was skinny and tall . I got tease for it. I had really bad acne I was insecure about not having a ton of friends like Mrs Lewis. And here is this teacher who is going on and on about making a list and to change the things you want to change . I was like how is a list going to change how I feel. Are you kidding me ? I was prim and proper during my Primary School Years but their would always be that skunk who would troll on my image. I don’t hold grudges  I am just expressive alllll…..right!

But really now making a list? This is not going to stop someone from saying hurtful things to me . I went to this teacher after class and I said what was on my mind . I expressed how personal and frustrating it was to hear that lesson when I felt like it was no good to me. Once I finished and she advised me . I was so relieved that I had said it. I blurred things out I wouldn’t generally say .

Saying how I felt was such a relief.  But I couldn’t always go to someone who I felt would appreciate my vulnerability. I didn’t want my teachers to see me differently.  I wanted to be known as responsible and a girl with great potential . Not someone who was troubled with insecurities.  So I journal-ed .

If you stuck journal on or try the accountable thing

Having a diary was hard because my grandmother would read it. Despite finding new places to hide them. When I found Shaka my bae . I finally trusted someone enough to share things with. I had a journal at his place . I kept dating him as a secrete too . Oh well that is a story for another day. We were not the ideal fit for my family and understandably so. He was much older than I was.

I still have the tendancy to be very private . I don’t confront anyone easily.  If I am in pain I have this natuarl urge to resist sharing my heartache with anyone because of how use to” keeping things private “has always been for me .

Consider the  times I told people how I felt and they ran off to share that to someone else . To get the just it would be a friend at school or church member or a relative . Yo alot of people in my circle did me wrong with privacy but I don’t love them any less. They are who they are. In the end this helped shaped me .

If you can relate drop your experiences down in the comments

Scribbles from my Journal

My 20 Something Bucket List

Every Part of me is going Nuts for this Post here is why?

Haaaay Babes if you have been enjoying my blog reads. I just want to say thank you for taking the time to catch up with me. I love making friends from across the globe on this platform. If you new a warm welcome to you. The best place to start is Sticky Situations in Sandton .

When you guys visit my site I always want you to feel like it’s about to go down lol

Here is what you need to know about this Blog Journey 

  • I am a growing blogger & You-tuber and that means we are
  • I am from Cape Town South Africa writing from Sandton Jhb
  • I am 23 years old  hence the 20 something convo’s
  • I am here to be what other bloggers has been for me
  • My topics are my personal experiences and creative things anyone can try.

Before Blogging I was a Scrapbook Queen

Before this blog or in fact before I was ever introduce to bloggers and Pinterest or other medium’s similar. I use to scrap book as a Kid. I would cut out all those bomb ass images. From date night Ideas , Fashion and whatever inspo spoke to me. I would paste these images in a scrapbook. Write little notes next to them. They would be something along the lines of how bad I want to experience a romantic memory or Why I need those boots. A lot of my unexpected memories I was proud to experience also went in my scrapbook. Like the first time I was on a train far away from home . Or my first flight ticket.

Scrap booking now

I still kinder nurture my scrapbook. I love having a browse through it especially  this past winter.  I feel like during these colder times when you particularly don’t want to be outdoors. This is a great artsy fartsy soul session for you. I will say there is nothing better than kicking it old school. There is something so satisfying about recreating a blank page into a hearty frame of hopefulness.

Bucket List

Anyhoo as I grew older I heard the term bucket list from the movie Bucket List. Over the years this has become such a thing. Unknowingly I had a bucket list compiled in my scrapbook.  Which later I started doing vision boards. I signed up for Pinterest and now I have decided to go public on my very own online diary.

Here is a few facts about Bucket Listing if you don’t already know . To be fair some of these I never knew until right now .

  1. The term bucket list means what
  2.  There are blogs dedicated to Bucket Listing
  3.  There are published books about Bucket List 

I can’t invest my time into things that don’t have intention or a depth of meaning. The worst thing is wanting something for myself that doesn’t add value to anyone else” but myself”. So I drew up a mind map of where I am right now and who I would like to be . Of course my bucket list is my how to. I don’t like to overwhelm myself with things I hope for when I am at grandma’s stage. So I put together  a practical yet daring “must do” on my bucket list .

I thought about where I am right now

  1.   I am Open to love private about sex. I have a long term bae Shaka
  2.  I am 23 years old living in Sandton Jhb
  3. I am from Cape Town Mitchell’s Plain A large township created by apartheid.Established in the 70s for “coloured people”. The township house middle income families facing socio-economic disadvantages. Example gansterism and drug abuse.
  4. I have a compassionate heart & want to offer my best to people
  5. My J.O.B I work in the communication industry. Sales & marketing strategist since 2014 in retail branches.

 

How I would love to grow

  1. Do more fun things with Shaka and take ourselves less seriously. To also grow in our faith together.
  2. To be active in my community whether it be in Cape Town or Sandton currently. To be politically active vote and be involved in community projects.
  3.  I want to better myself in areas I can grow in. Study and travel
  4.  To create an online name in the digital space. Growth on my blog and YouTube channel.
  5. To nurture relationships & connect more to people around me

I divided those areas into categories

 

  • Embracing the 20s
  • Community
  • Shaka
  • Relationships
  • Work

In spirit of being 20 something I have listed 20 “must do’s” on my bucket list. I divided 4 between each category.

If you have tried doing a bucket list leave your blog post or thoughts on your experiences in the comments below.  I would love to read up on yours xoxo T

To be continued

Scribbles from my Journal

Lengthy Conversations with my Best Friend

Lenghthy Convo is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having” long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

Mrs Lewis

I can’t stop the beating heart of a 19 year friendship. Mrs Lewis is a huge part of my life and she will be a big chunk of my blog space so please catch up if you haven’t already.

We have been best friends for most of our lives . Our friendship of course experienced highs and lows. We had our not on “speaking term” moments . Our parents always prepped us for the time we would out grow each other. We complete opposites and have only a few things in common . My grandmother never liked my best friend for such a long time because of our differences so that conflict really added to our odds .

What worked in our favor was that we were each others first loves . We adored each other so much . We had great admiration for one another .She inspired me in so many ways , I inspired her too. We could dream big and not be ashamed of wanting similar things that felt impossible.

The thing is when we shared our crazy dreams with our other friends they would always want what we wanted . Or would bash our hearts desire’s and share them with their friends .They never safe guarded our dreams . Does this ring a bell to you?

Mrs Lewis and I protected each others fantasy and hopes. We kept them to ourselves.

 We could trust sharing things to each other that might have not made sense to everyone  else . We prayed  for each other more than we prayed for ourselves . We wrote letters and diary entries that would be kept at her house . In my home they wouldn’t be safe because my grandmother would always read through my journal . Our diary entries were never anything drastic it was just things that we wanted or how we felt and we never wanted anyone to shame us for the way we felt or the things we wanted .

We always had lengthy convo’s about all of the above .

We appreciated a unspoken pack that was made clear in our lengthy conversation.  When she told me anything hearty I knew I would treasure her vulnerability till the day I die. She didn’t even have to say please lets just keep this between us. This is why we don’t have to see each other 24/7. And hear from each other all the time , we shared an understanding that not just anyone could hack .

Lengthy meaningful convo’s were a great part of that.

Like I mentioned we were complete opposites. we had our own group of friends .For our 12 year of schooling together  . She would hang out with kids that I wouldn’t necessarily see eye to eye with but I always wondered why when all our friends were gone we would always find ourselves alone talking about things we wouldn’t normally chat to our daily friends about.

Those prayers letters and lengthy convo’s shaped they way I appreciate a great friendship today. We live in different cities currently she’s a wife and mom with a great job.  I am so lucky to have learned all that I have from our lengthy Convo’s

   “Best Friends are a promise not a label”

Comment below if you share a similar friendship or what great memories formed out of your lengthy convo’s with a best friend .

Scribbles from my Journal

Lengthy Convo with Shaka’s Mom

Mama Shaka

 Lengthy Convo Lessons

Lenghthy Convos is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having “long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

Shaka My bae’s mom have a heart of gold . She can talk for hours . I have learned so much from her though .  They say a girl Chooses a guy who resembles her father and vice versa for a guy. As much as Shaka’s mom and I have a few things in common. We differ in ways I wish I could be more like her.

  1. She has patience
  2. She is a peoples person
  3. She loves doing things on her own

I am quite the opposite. I admire all those characteristics and have been trying to better myself.

I will admit there is way more to love about her than just the few that I admire . She raised a son who has a heart of gold too. This would top the rest .

She is so open . I could ask her anything. Lately I have sucked in staying in touch with her more. I have been so occupied in work and things happening closer to me . I haven’t made the effort to value who she is more than I should .

This post I would like to dedicate to her for the lessons she has taught me.

She leads by example in every thing she has unknowingly taught me . I would watch her be away from home for work. When she finally returns home she still ooze with energy and compassion for others . She would make time to go to her friends down the  street. I have been such a loner as a kid I only had Mrs Lewis and Shaka . I am so comfortable with being on my own. If I come home from work sometimes . I don’t want to have Shaka squeeze me the way he does .

I could be in a room full of people but would rather be alone . I am a total Gemini. She has shown me that if you value what’s important and you try and engage with people despite how you feel in that moment . Talking to someone is way more valuable than being one sided. You not only feel empowered by engaging in conversation. You don’t just add something to the table. Other people evolve from you too. They gain a sense of knowledge or comfort in knowing they spent  time with you.

We always talk about her past. What  she was like when she was younger . How she felt when she was my age . The last time I went home to cape town .I spent time with her. I took a trip by myself Shaka had to stay in Sandton for work. I slept over by her for a few days . She showed me older pictures . We had a pamper sesh. We went to the cinema. We visited relatives of Shaka whom I had never met before . We had lots of lengthy Convos .

I don’t feel like I am great at being present for her in the same light that she has been. I hope to hold onto opportunities like this while striving to create more .

Potential mother in laws while they still present shouldn’t be an insecure factor like it’s been for me .

She taught me tricks in the kitchen like 1 min pizza base. Her fav tart recipes or just that beautiful cup of tea.

You can always count on her for availing her heart. She would share a scripture for  you if it was your birthday . The first time she sat me down on my birthday I felt her warmth for the very first time . As she read me a verse she had her hands on mine. This was so unforgettable.

If it’s not your potential mother in law but someone who leads by example with connecting you to other people . Leave an experience in the comments below .

Scribbles from my Journal

Winter Favs

The beginning of Winter is always brutal right? But hay that is if you don’t get a head start for it.Prepping for hot meals , shopping for stockings, suede boots, scented candles and  all sorts give me life!

I love Winter so much I have a Pinterest board for it. Since I have been in the Swing of WordPress.I have met the most gorgeous  creative beings.Whom has been nothing less than supportive. You guys! My WordPress buddies. So in honor of what I have learned from bloggers and the gems I have been loving this season.

Here are my Winter treats for you.

Winter in South Africa has had its knocks and apart from all the blue weekdays we have had. I would like to list my Fav Products that has kept me going throughout this season.

Lux Shower Gel

  1. Wake Me Up this is known to invigorate your senses.Infused with Mineral salts , seaweed and fresh fragrances.
  2. Scarlet Blossom is more of a long-lasting scent. Containing fragrance pearls of Egyptian violet and elemi oil.

They were both on sale for R39 at Dischem

Scented Oils

  1. Eucalyptus oil 
  2. Lavender oil

Hot Water Bottles

Saves you money that would increase your electrical usage . Instead of putting a heater on or using an electric blanket. Hot water bottles are less expensive as a once off purchase and for long-term use.They great for providing heat but also relief  muscle pain when applying it on your tummy or back. I love my cute faux Fur hot water bottle . I purchased mine for R59 at Mr Price Home

Charcol face mask

I never knew how great charcoal was for you until I had educate myself. Face masking is a must for winter. The weather can dry out your skin and  Make your face more pale. It becomes even worst when you don’t take care of impurities and your skin suffers from dehydration.  I have been using this particular face mask.Its lasted me forever.  R99 from Dischem.

Diys

  • Wine bottle Bubble Bath Jar

Recycled Reuse I love keeping my favourite wine bottles for diys. I love putting bubble bath in mine.You can decorate the bottle however  you want. I love keeping mine in its natural state. It reminds me of the soothing taste and the cozy moments I enjoyed while sipping on a glass of something something

  •  Storage Jar

You need one clear container. I used my spread container I cleaned the jar after the spread was used up.You need a nice piece of rope long enough to tie around the size jar you will be using. Tie and knot or hot glue to secure a firm fit. Add any storage or decor items inside.

 

Journaling
I love journaling.  I jot down a few things that were heartwarming throughout my week. This is a good way of relaxing during the  winter.  Something to keep your mind positive yet busy while you under the covers or enjoying a hot drink

In the comments below list a few of your “Must Have” Winter items that you would like me to try .

Scribbles from my Journal

Lenghthy Convos with Shaka

Lengthy Convo Lessons

Lenghthy Convos is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having “long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

I am laughing at this #bloggingproblems  before I even start diving in. I guess today’s blog will be a series in a series.

I don’t quite know where a “Young Love with Shaka Series” will lead to. What I do know is that my relationship with him is worth sharing with every girl I know. I learned to love myself through being his friend first. I value things like communication and honesty because of him.  I have been able to embrace being a feminist side by side with him. Together we sort of cutting edge I think with No filter. From the get go our relationship didn’t start off on an impressive foot. However where we are now is what I want to Introduce you to.

For those of you who are New Shaka is my bae for the longest time ever. I shared with you lessons my Aunt passed onto me and how she taught me how to be open to love and private about things like sex.

But in a nut shell ever since I was a kid. I knew I wanted a ton of kids. I loved an ideal wedding but I never imagined lasting in a relationship with the perfect man. I grew up in so to speak in a “broken home”.This was my normal I don’t feel disadvantaged by it or wired differently . I just didn’t know better than what I did at the time. Comment down below if you can relate.

I have seen great models of stabled relationships but when times got rough in those relationships . I never liked the gutty scenery and emotion that came with it. So how was I going to last in a relationship anyway.  Especially when I will watch chronicles of rage from a kids point of view. Telling myself one day when I am big it will never happen to me. I quit believing in marriage for a while. Until I met Shaka.

When we started dating I told him I want to adopt babies. I wanted to be a mom someday I just couldn’t see myself with a husband. My mom and dad never tied the knot and for a long time in my upbringing who gets to use their surname was always a thing that I didn’t have time for so I just had to throw that in there. I told him I wanted kids but didn’t see the point in being married to have them. Again my sense of normal. I didn’t want my kid to be like oh let’s visit dad this weekend and spend next weekend with mom you know. So I was down with adoption for more reasons than that of cause.

His views differed. I was feeling his vibe and was totally into him. As much as we were vibing  I never thought about loving him. Until he said he loved me. I was like saaaay whaaaat. He was walking me home not too long after we started dating and he just puked the words out casually. I L.O.V.E Y.O.U

This dude want his own kids. He sees his future with me as his wife . Like naaaah bra we not on the same page. Knowing that I had opposing views from him. He still said he loved me. We talked and talked for hours on Vodacoms night shift after 12 am. We had lengthy convos about all that I have mentioned above.

Today we still dating and I have opened myself up to love beyond my expectations. I considered marriage. The more I grew in my faith and learned how to love myself. The more my heart was opened to expanding my views on what “normal” is for me.

44 more days till we 8 years together. We traveled on flights. We moved in together. I now want my own kids and would like to adopt after I have one of my own. HUGE right lol but slow down guys all in due time and none of it soon o.k.a.y

Having lengthy convos really enhanced my perspective not exactly alter it.

This taught me that romantic relationships require lengthy engagements before you can really build confidence in each other.

 

Scribbles from my Journal

Caught in the Middle of an Argument 

Lengthy Convo lessons

Lenghthy Convos is a Series on My Blog that detail  a few lessons that I have learned from having “long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

This month I would love to begin this chronical piece. Which is all about how lengthy convos has shaped my life through a stranger or a close peer .

Todays piece is a memory that I hold near and has helped me in many instances ever since

 Years ago My uncle had an argument with my aunt and I drew so near to my aunt in this scenario  and sided with her .I reacted upset towards him . Mind you that I had nothing to do with this argument . I was a kid and they were two adults arguing about grown up things. One day while they were still on not speaking terms. He said to me that if his disagreeing with her I shouldnt be upset with him . And that really made me feel crappy . The point was to know my place . This happens so often somone close to you has conflict with whom ever and here you find yourself standing up for your close friend just because they your close friend. Forgetting the facts acting irrationally. You know? I digress.So for sure in that moment I never forgot how he made me feel but I really engaed in that present time .

First few lesson I learned was to:

  • Be interactive and find courage beyond what you feeling
  • Never limit yourself based off your emotions
  •  I asked what he meant and gradually over the years I have used his response to guide me .

Second lesson was to:

  • Know my place , and pick my battles wisely. It is important to  not allow an external situation to affect your personal relationship with those who are being argumentative.

At this point (I really hope my explanation paints a good picture of my thought process during this time).It was awkward but theres a silving lining I promise.

How I applied this experience Recently 

So a few months ago a collegue who I am close to at work was really affected by someone who I am also close to at work.

This was ofcourse  an unfair and personal argument . However I used that tool that my uncle shared with me which stemed  off from the closeness I had with my aunt.

 I sperated myself from the equation and explained to my colleagues I cant step in and attack either of them .especially  because of something that happend between the two of them. It is not my place to be uspet on either one of their behalfs.

 Nore can I base my relationships with either of them on the following,

1. second hand information or

 2. one side to the story .

 We adults and life goes on.

I shared my experience between my uncle and my aunt to both my collegues individually.  This sparked a lengthy convo that opened up their perspective.  They worked things out eventually .

I know Sometimes this wont always be such a happy ending and hay what can you do ? We can best agree to disagree And still  be respective of the other persons point of view. Often one person chooses to hold a grudge or be resentful and it will be what it should. But that’s on them so to speak.

We can only be accountable for our own actions and I choose to hold this experience as a reminder of that.

Follow this section of my blog this month for more lengthy convo lessons .

Please leave a comment below if you have ever been in this situation or if you learned anything interesting in this post .

Scribbles from my Journal

” We not going to Last” Relationship Convo Part 1

Lengthy Convo’s with my Aunt

Lenghthy Convos is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having “long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

Keeping this totally 100 with you . You guys are familiar with Shaka the bae who I have chatted so much about on my blog . We have been dating for 7 years and counting.We about to mark an 8 year and counting love fest .

Anyhoo fast forward to pre Shaka I never ever saw myself getting married or having a long time bae . I have seen too much drama in relationships and never liked the way I cringed when I saw my aunts and uncles argue . The shouting , the revenge and manipulation.  I felt like those scenarios belonged on days of our lives . The mind of a kid right? This had no place in the real world. I didn’t see myself being with a dude I could have babies with . I knew I wanted lots of kids but since 11 years old I totally dreamed about adopting .

In and around where I grew up divorces , singles moms and dads were the way it was for a reason . None of them turned out as a happy ending . I knew I wanted to date and have boyfriends I just didn’t imagine how it would last . I was born into a split parent family-hood so this was my sense of normal anyway.

I had lengthy convos with all the women close to me . I can boast about how open and honest they all were to me at such a young age. My one aunt Adele has always been enthusiastic towards never loosing your sense of wonder. Shes the only adult I know who loves Christmas more than kids . She kinda made me fall in love with the possibility of marriage and choosing to love someone with their flaws . She consoled my idea of an imperfect forever kind of love.

Lets talk about Sex

At 11 12 13 14 years of age I received the “sex talk” but not in the way that parents normally make kids feel .  It wasn’t All cringed or Yucky.A few women scared the wacky doodle out of me about “ DOING IT” . Then there was those women who could see the potential grown up in me .  Their lengthy Convos about sex talk to me were pinnacle!

An aunt put sex for marriage to me like this . A group of people were talking about their sex lives and luckily around that age I over heard the convo and was comfortable enough to ask her about it. Brave was I huh?

She said There is a reason why sex should be between those who are married because it should only be shared between two people.  Intimacy was created for two people and how this is a private interaction.  She asked rhetorically How would you like it if your partner shared with another individual what was happening in your pants . And I felt that personal invasion and loss of respect just by the way she explained it. Now thank goodness she never reacted embarrassed and withheld her opinion. If she never shared  that with me at such a young age . I would have ran off to all my friends for a kiss and tell . I guess I  would not have valued intimacy the way I do .

This might be controversial but this is how a lengthy convo with amazing women really impacted the adultee I am proud to be .

Share something in the comments below on how a lengthy “Relationship” convo influenced you .

Scribbles from my Journal

What they Taught me 

Lenghthy Convos is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having “long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

Conversations with my Mothers

Recently I have been reflecting a lot about how influential women have been for me during my teenage years . My grand mothers , my great grand mothers that’s right fortunately they lived long enough to meet me , neighbors , my mom and aunts ,teachers etc,

 At this point I am pretty much adulting . I guess what triggered this nostalgia has been the process of dealing with a family crises and  learning how to constructively adult. Finding the beauty of turning my rental space into a home .Probably those experiences I have been sharing on my blog lately . These experiences has led my thinking to question. Oh well  what would my Mamma bears  do . Mamma bears referring to every influential women I have been impacted by. 

 How is it that they created  xyz for themselves and others .What did they do that I am not doing or do I remember seeing them develop into where they are now .

A great example would be how my mom decord her home with inexpensive items and how she could turn a small space into a cozy atmosphere  . As you guys already know I moved a few months ago and I am trying to be creative with the small space I have now .

Also a recent family scare where my grandfather was not doing to well . Truly made me dig deeper with the way all the women in my family reacted and how their strength till this point shaped me .

What really clicked for me while reflecting  was the following, The way in which my perspective has been shaped. I am fortunate to have been moldered safe guardedly by phenomenal  women. Most of their influences were unintentional and authentic. If it were not for those lengthy convos I have shared with each of these influential women. I wouldn’t have been as impacted by their words of wisdom.

The saying that you will forget what people do to you but you wont  forget how they made you feel . Is so accurate . I learned from an early start on that when you find yourself being touched by someones reaction . You should be interactive in that moment as far as you could possibly be.

Take a moment to be honest with yourself an admit wow I needed to hear this or acknowledge that persons wisdom . Be like hay wait a sec thank you for sharing that with me . Do you mind if I ask you what that taught you or how it influenced your perspective you know. Truly embrace the moment and engage when you can .

I got advice from someone and they really made me feel crappy about something I had done wrong. Somehow beyond my paralyzed humiliation.I found the courage to say something back. I asked  what made you say that ?

When the person responded.I was completely amazed and thankful. Cause it was such an ah ha moment for me and since then  I always knew how important it was to interact with someone during a life shaping moment .

Here on Scribbles from my Journal I am introducing a New Piece called lengthy Convos , Listing all the lengthy convos in which someone helped shaped my life .

Stay tuned this month for All lengthy Convo pieces .

Comment down below if this is your cup of tea xoxo T