Scribbles from my Journal

Bounce Back Loosers

Lip Synch Battle MTV Base Africa

Sandton city shopping centre in the City Exclusive

Last night  I took a L but tonight I bounce back . Big Sean lyrics … Oh yeah we about to get grimmy as the queen would say to her beehive. 
Hope you Beauts are well . If you not doing too well then welcome to the start of something hopeful.
August was a gorgeous month. Yes I know you guys  don’t check your calender it is nearly a month later but I have to get this off my chest .
We have all been through phases when you try and try to excel in an area of your life but you keep failing after trying and doing your best. You even lighten your approach and tell yourself arrrgh I am just going to have fun and not take this that seriously.That way you will do your very best even way better.
Dude well I literally had this experience at least 3 times in a competition called Lip Synch battle in the City edition.And so had Shaka at least attempting 4 times .

Let’s start at the very beginning Do Ray Me fa so la ti do

Here’s the thing sometime in August I had an appointment scheduled for the dentist.  I haven’t been to a local dentist in the Gauteng region so what I did was assume I knew where my appointed dentist was located . I didn’t check the map I just read travel clinic and I assumed there was only one in Sandton that I was familiar with. Anyhoo I pitched up at the wrong location which was at the medical mews inside the Sandton City shopping centre. Shaka went with me for moral support due to the fact that dentistry freaks me out completely.  We both were frustrated more so him after  being dragged along . I was on a call rescheduling my appointment while Shaka stopped for a sec to chat to a friend who was doing promo for the event taking place in the mall which of course was the lip synch battle .

Dollar Bills

After not getting a rescheduled appointment on the phone due to the dentist now being fully booked . I threw my hands up and was more relieved  that it just wasn’t meant to be that day . Nudge nudge I have been detrimently avoiding this moment anyway . Shaka already signed up to compete . I was like huh and I quote ” do you know what you signing up for ” well he didn’t exactly he just heard that the winner would walk away with R2000 in shopping vouchers for the day and an overall winner throughout the two week competition would win R20 000 in cash kaching. Dolla Bills Yall!
I was down for that and entered as well you know to double our chances .I looked so crappy that day we decided to head home and change.We made the effort to head back ready to compete.  We decided what we were going to do with the voucher of R2000 and we such foodies we envisioned our first filled grocery trolley . That’s the dream you guys lol I know it may seem silly to you but when that day comes I have made it.
So we competed in the same round after selecting songs and performing to them.  Shaka went first I went second last and what happens is . Due to the fact that it is in a shopping centre the crowed gets to select a winner by the amount of noise they make .So our chances were dependent on crowed cheers however Shoppers stand in and leave not staying for the entire show . When Shaka went up as the first competitor there wasn’t a crowed to begin with.  Having said that by the time the show was at the deciding end the people who saw shaka’s round had left . I however made it to the final and the girl who won had an audience in the crowed of people who worked with her. She was staff inside one of the stores in the shopping centre . Her friends had taken their lunch breaks and were all in to support her. I had no one in the crowed and in the end we both lost.

Finding a way to win

We considered the logistics and were told by the event staff that we had to come back and try again. They were so convinced that we had it in the bag. We just needed to try again.  So we did and we lost again.  The event staff were strategizing that we go in separate rounds and so we did and lost again. By then we were at that point when I just ran out of days to try again cause I had to work however  Shaka went and tried again yet he lost again. The 2 weeks flew by and two days before the finale . We got a call from the event manager requesting us to renter as wild cards . We were so stoked but I had to be at work Shaka had the day to spare . This would be his 4th attempt . Fortunately that day I could leave early just to support him. And so I did before the show was about to start the competitors were uneven and it would have been a 3 way battle. They then needed another wild card cause the previous winners never pitched . I was then asked to compete by the staff and for the heck of it I did .
see Instavideo

We try and try again

Shaka did extremely well like he was a kill off but we had no personal support in the crowed so it was logistically over regardless . He even danced and tilted a gogo.

gogo noun (South African)

1.

ɡrandmother
Whether you won or not each competitor walked a way with a 6 pack fanta zero we had collected a few by then.This was suppose to be it. The team of the event was routing for us . However the rules go that the crowed had the final decision and so they did . We lost again.

There is always good in every bit of bad

The heart throb of this was how we never gave up and tried again. We know we rocked it we knew we gave our best . The team of the event was so amazing we ended up meeting new friends and exchanged numbers with the staff. It was so cool because we had and still have a great attitude about loosing countless times . We would leave the mall after loosing making fun at how we both lost . I would chant the song nana nana nana nana hay hay hay . As they would at wrestlemania.  It was just an epic disaster in the best way.

We gave ourselves a pat on the…

No matter what you end up loosing in take that L and bounce back. Those are just one of my highlighted experiences in Johannesburg with Shaka the bae that I could never forget . The day of the finale when we entered as wild cards .After loosing we had the best splurging lunch ever . We went to mug and bean we shopped till we dropped we had deserts at the bread basket . It was retail therapy in the most deserving way. We gave ourselves that pat on the ass.Attitude is everything.  Perception and perspective are two different things . Perception is the obvious scenario . When things are what they are however you can win with having a perspective that is positive and vibing to a bounce back mentality. Who knows the person who won in each round over us might have needed that vouchers or money more than we did . We carved an awesome memory we made friends we did our best and we were loosers who never lost anything at all we gained even more of what we already had which was more of each other in the best bounce back spirit ever .
Be happy to comment down your thoughts below xoxo T
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Scribbles from my Journal

Friday the 17th Leveled Up

From bad to Worst 2.0

We all have those days when everything go from bad to worst. I have written about an experience such as this before.  Feel free to catch up over here however… I promise you this continuation couldn’t compare nor could  you guys imagine how my recent experience has unfold.From bad to worst 2.0 unscripted and detailed down below.
I titled these bad to worst blog post ” Friday the 17th” because the first chaotic one occurred on that exact date. A day I clearly dated as a mental note and decided to share with you.
The end result of that first blog post in my view ended with a wishy washy kind of here is how to get through it. I mean this in the best possible way. No sarcasm I promise. At that time a wishy washy how to option helped but in this scenario it took more than just that few remedies.
Extract from my previous post
As candy coated as my world was created to be nothing ever goes according to Plan or unforeseen circumstances arises . You faced with challenges perhaps when things just turned out to be good . Relationships become tarnished . You carry scars from disappointment and you doubt yourself or become isolated in a room full of people.
 It always sucks to be in a predicament but its important to push through it. I found that the most challenging experiences I have had is when you give up on yourself that is the moment people give up on you.
How do I not quit on myself? Here are some of the things that helped me through crappy situations 
  • If God shows up for you you need to show up for him. Appreciate the second chance you get each waking day
  • Count your blessings gratitude influence your attitude
  • Hearing the word of God Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God
  • This life is not about you its way more than just your here and now
  • Indulge in the Pretty Things. There is hope in the beauty that surrounds you

So here is what happened

 A month ago I was down and feeling so low mentally and emotionally. I couldn’t see solutions beyond my cloudy state of mind. Here’s what happened I was insecure in my role at work. I felt like I wasn’t growing and bare in mind  not growing in a 9 am to 5 pm  J.O.B for 23 days a month becomes claustrophobic. You basically drowning in untapped potential . I couldn’t see any solutions due to a lot of external factors limiting the most obvious solutions . Let me put it this way realistically we as a team in my work field aren’t progressing in terms of our productivity because we see less clients due to a 2 year construction taking place on our premises.  Lately the construction has been so staggering that our version of bad went to worst. I was at this point already demotivated and then discovered that new staff I had been training were earning way more than I have . So I went from zero to 100. Without approaching anyone in my work space . I was internally soaking this shiz in you guys.  This was the exact day I came across Desert Missus blog post  and I had a venting buddy who breathed new life into my situation. Like saaaaay whaaaat Yes I know . See down below

This was so meant for me. First off you killed me with your choice of words”bitch fest” ahs and jahs. It is always fun reading your blogs.

This was meant for me because I have been dealing with an internal bitch fest. I live in Sandton now and making the effort to call home in Cape Town is such a mission. No one picks up at the peek of my fumes. So I am just like forget it I will sulk for the next few days and then get over myself.

I have been senior in my position for nearly 4 years still earning the same salary since I started. I am training new staff that earns a R1000 more than me. Finding another job I haven’t been winning. My HR Manager hasn’t bothered to respond to my email. I can do more than a lot of the people in my office space. but you know what the fudge here I am in the same old financial boat.

However reading this post was such a wake up call like I could use this time to study the people around me and better myself for when the opportunity avails itself.

I literally bookmarked this post just so that I can have a read through it again at home. Cause this hasn’t totally sink in yet but the timing couldn’t be more perfect for me.

How bloggers save the day

You will be amazed at how powerful a blog post could be .There could be someone who would relate to your post on so many levels. No pressure to you who might be a blogger but come on really you have the ability to create a shift in the day of someone else  They could be experiencing that exact same scenario you drafting about even if you thousands of miles away. And find refuge in you as a blogger for being bold enough to step it up. If not more drawn to you at least they would hang on to your sincere words and power in your voice as a writer.
So I finally revised on desert Missus blog post more than once and tried finding a confident approach to the situation but I just couldn’t. I e-mailed my amazing HR manager however she hasn’t responded as soon as I hoped . So I became never minded and comfy in my misery. I was under pressure at work not just due to my own insecurities and the external factors . I had a heated argument with a colleague and Shaka and I became what they call stiff. We couldn’t relate to each others personal problems it was an overwhelming day in a nutshell.

There is always a Super women around this time her name is Nicky

Nicky this beaut whom I would always have a brief Convo with came in that day and I just puked out a desperate yet sarcastic question. “Nicky do you see me working for you anytime soon  “and she looked me in the eye daring me to challenge the why out of my desperation.  What she said to me I still hold on to today. That I am not doing my best and not doing it strategically. I was working harder but not smarter. My attitude towards others were great but towards myself it sucked. I have been soaking in my misery instead of sharing or confiding in someone to save my pride.
She didn’t sugar coat me at all. The tone of our convo was like that of a grown women to a grown up girl. She helped me look towards practical and possible solutions. instead of being blinded to my here and now. She said that if I were to be in a different work environment that wouldn’t change my attitude or method of daily success. Which is true I have been seeking for different work opportunities but I haven’t thrived at being the best in my current position so what would make me think I would thrive anywhere else.
Life always starts with where you are now. Most parents birth their kids not in the most ideal situation but they do it in the there and now.  You wouldn’t have a choice  but to push through at 9 months and beyond whatever due date.If that baby is coming that baby is coming. Sometimes we get ourselves in the ” my water broke”situation which is not as bad as it seems. We can be so stubborn and filled with pride. That it is necessary to push through hardships in order to change something as simple as your attitude. Your attitude could mean everything. It sets the tone to your day. It elevates keeping things to yourself and pushes you to share what you going through with someone willing to help.
Nicky never threw money at me or a new career path. She had a lengthy one with me in order to help me get perspective. She threw plenty gems at me one of which I clothe parts of my heart in was saving a R50 or R60 to go out once a month with Shaka and spend it on one cocktail at a place we wouldn’t normally go to around Sandton. Hearing her just add colour to my black and white imagination got me excited. Why go out for cocktails or coffee ?She suggested to stay refreshed and focus on why we both moved to Sandton anyway. Especially when we feel stuck surround yourself in the Sandton ambiance  or whichever lifestyle you hoping to flourish in. When I find myself in sticky situations Shaka is normally going through some ish as well. For the sake of his privacy I wont add much of what he was going through but I will say it was hard to relate to each others situation when we were already overwhelmed with our own. Nicky was my ah ha and oooh ah Oprah Winfrey in that second. In a nutshell she was totally a Superwomen that rocked up and saved my day. Words couldn’t be enough therefore I just had to share her amazeballness with you. She is kickass in every way if I had to share the rest of her pep talk trust me this post would go 2000 words and beyond. Nudge Nudge Wink Wink more of this beaut to follow soon.

Wish Washyness Aside

Yes my previous gems from my first post on Friday the 17th does stir up your uneasyness however together is better. Find a girlfriend confident enough to push you off that cliff and bungee jump the distance you have left in this stretch called life. If you don’t have the courage to walk up to a confidant reach out to that blogger who is walking in your shoes. Have the courage to approach someone who you might sense is going through a hard time. I cant express my sincere gratitude enough towards her taking the time to unwrap my bandages.
So much has changed since then…  And its literally just been a month thus far. I have had my water broken and cried till my hearts content. I picked myself up from the ground of self pity. We spent that R60 each for a rare classic mojito for myself and a freshly squeezed apple juice for him. We Not only got a refreshed perspective but have been plugged in to connecting with people more as individuals and as partners. I have finally gotten an increase after 3 years like hellllloooh. I have been reading loadz of books lately. And have been working strategically in my workosphere.
Comments down below if anything relatable popped up for you. Xoxo A courage’s T 
Scribbles from my Journal

How I got Shakarized for 8 Years and Counting

Oh Yeah we celebrated our 8 year Anniversary. Whoop Whoop. Now Let’s not all get Belgian Waffel and Nutella Happy… It is all great to embrace love and romance but the core of it has no filter and becomes the result of a forever kind of love.

This is not a beautiful disaster blog post. This post is all about how we survived 8 years and counting. 

Shaka the bae has been a huge chunk of my blog. Mainly because my blogs are lengthy extracts of real life experiences and the relationships formed there of.  Don’t worry if you a new friend don’t be scared I won’t write about you without your consent… Nudge Skru skru

If you need a backdrop and are new to my blogosphere. I would pride the tone of my blogs on My Lengthy Convo Series

We were far from a power couple… Yip you read right we were the couple with a match and a candle than that of electricity

Here’s what you know about Shaka . His a great friend that dared dating me when most people never approved . I’m talking friends and family. Rightfully so due to the slight gap in age during the time we met. I was quite young he was a senior and I was at a Junior in High School.
Calm down I know this seems a bit tense but I was matured for my age haaaaaaah ha ha okay okay I know that lame line won’t justify the fact. Nevertheless let’s behave…When I was in this ship with no place to land. I couldn’t describe my intentions unless I lived it.I didn’t have the courage or the confidence to explain to everyone why and how this was going to work for me. All I had was myself and my belief in him to at least try.  I also knew then that words are just sketches on a t-shirt . You truly need to experience whether you can stand on your own intention before you can convince anyone else. The same went for him as it went for me . So ranting and raving was sooooh not going to be beneficial for anyone.

The biggest Secrete I kept was dating him

People don’t respond to the whimsical intentions you have they only get it when you show them . Right actions speak louder than words always.  So I will let the cat out of the bag and just admit that I cleared out all the nay sayers by lying to them and pretending to call it quits between Shaka and I. Yip what we shared was just between him and I . I know this was a hard decision but in that frame of mind I did what I thought was best yet a risk at the same time.  No one knew not even Mrs Lewis got the ins and outs. Mrs Lewis A.K.A the best friend for 19 years and counting.  We have the best bond ever yet we the typical bestie bunch that had our not on “speaking term” moments too you know. This lasted a year and a half guys the longest we haven’t chatted at all.
I missed her every single day while venturing into a love fest but also a partnership with Shaka. We kept our relationship a secrete for at least two years. That wasn’t long enough because my high school bud placed a prediction on us and I quote “Give it 3 years and your love will run dry” That really stung in the best way because I could have easily been one of those girls. Who could easily be negative towards relationships.  Which makes no sense because relationships are ultimately a personal experience.No bystander could possible know the true intimacy shared between two people but people do this all the time. Ever since that encounter I never dared predicting any relationship I was introduced too.

 Do you want my advise ?

If you had to ask me relationship advise today I would lead you to this link over here. This gives you a sum of how we need to take responsibility for the advice we take or give ourselves. I am a good sound board  hearing people out is one of my best qualities but the ultimate decision lies with you.  Whatever the advice might be that you know in your heart you should follow…I am not the type to preach this is what you should do and in no way do I promote dating older guys when you young. This is just my personal encounter and the decisions I have made that have led up until now . Our relationship proved its truth all by its self . It demonstrated the personal intimacy in friendship we share more predominately than the lovey Dovey things.

How we pulled this off?

This was our best few years together. We communicated well I was so vulnerable with him. And I can’t fuss enough about what a gentlemen he was and sorter still is. So we sneaked around to see each other right. You still with me? Hang in there it is about to get steamy guys.
I was actively plugged into school. I was a prefect . I was on the RCL , drama clubs and Spades which was similar to Life Choices. So I had leverage in the stories I could come up with just to see him. School closed at 3ish PM on an ordinary school day. I would have just an hour I could get away with. I would say that I have to stay after school for blah blah blah. If I really needed to stay after school I would sacrifice both intervals and do whatever needed to be done just to sneak away with him.
One of the places we would go to is just the local library. We would walked down each aisle so slowly and stare at each other which felt like forever. We would just chat while wanting to hold each others hands but never did.  We went home and texted and he asked me if he could kiss me or hold my hand before we ever did. He never made me feel uncomfortable he always asked my permission before we went down any road. I knew then that this guy was different he had potential to be the possible boyfriend.

“She probably slept with him right? Why would she go through all this lying against the people closest to her”

We spent a while just being close friends before we made it official well I guess it became official when I started lying to everyone. And let me just tell you even during this time we never did go all the way. I am just putting it out there because it would be easy to assume oh well the only reason I lied was because we did it and I was sooooh attached like come on no.

Why was he worth disappointing everyone?

What inspired me to lie and go all in to give us a chance was this. He wanted all cards out on the table of what our intentions were. Like these words came from his mouth. He wanted to know where I was at and where I am hoping to head with him . We had this grown up conversation and he was being serious. He truly had set the tone of our relationship in this instance.  I knew in this moment he had potential to be the first boyfriend. I had flings before.Guys I had the hots for but my parents were very old school and none of these hotties were prepared to sit up with this but Shaka was. I told him this is what came inside my luggage and he accepted who I was and what came with me

My Mom literally chased him Home from the doorway of her’s

The first time he came to my moms house was an epic disaster.  I am not even going to go down this road all I will say is that any mother should have reacted that way. We got caught. I was left with no choice there was no way we could recover from getting caught after going to a club at 15 years old while being with this older guy. Oh MY HAT YES I KNOW PLEASE GROUND JUST OPEN UP AND SWALLOW ME IN.

What it was like sneaking around can you imagine?

During this time we never had the influence of anyone steering our ship. We rocked the boat with just each other. We had no money never went on a proper date for the first two years just our sneaky get away to a library and memories in his moms home.  I cant remember him having a stable job till after I ended High School. He wasn’t one of those guys with a great reputation in academics. He came to school late and never did his home work. He failed the 11th grade. He wasn’t on paper ideal for me. He was the captain of the athletics team but the reputation jocks have the odds was against me. Despite the noise I found a heart of gold and a gentlemen.  Whenever we would spend time at his moms home. He would always make me a cup of tea with a saucer with the spoon along side to dip my tea bag. Like whaaaat what guy does that ? Well a gentlemen right.

We never had a proper date as I have mentioned in 2 years no “lets get milkshake somewhere”because of being afraid of that third eye squealing on me.

So celebrating our 8 year Anniversary we had a dinner for two to spite the old days.  We had a really good evening at Eatalian’s restaurant we spoiled ourselves with desert treats and explored the Micheal Angelou lounge and shopping mall at night. It was simply stunning….

 

 

health · Scribbles from my Journal

Moments with Lizel

Have you ever met someone whom you could totally NOT imagine yourself being good friends with. Fast forward nearly 3 years later . Well that is pretty much the start of how I met Momentswithr&l.
I always point out reference to her blog but let me tell you more about the author from my perspective.  A few months after I started my blog Lizel my dearest collegue was finally convinced about giving blogging a go. Today we are not just colleagues but blog besties.

Today’s post is all about our friendship and how giving things a go could shift change in your life for the better

If you don’t already know by now I am about that positive vibe. What’s the worst that could happen? Outweigh your options and give your gut a good work out.
When I first started working at a new branch via my relocated transfer. I didn’t know what to expect. I was in a new city in a different work culture . Like the culture shock was real you guys!In cape Town we appreciate lunch time and fully embrace it. In Johannesburg the work culture particular to Sandton there is no such thing, you have a meal at work just so that you have enough energy but the rest of your work schedule… It’s all work honey.  Adapting to this and a few friendly smiles was an adjustment .
Lizel then was fragile and “insecure”… This would be a safe word to use.She had difficulty in speaking confidently. Clients and some of our colleagues would know just how to rattle her and she would brush off the awkwardness harshly .
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However who she has grown into today is way different from the space we met in. She not only grew more confident from within but also outwardly changed the tone at our outlook towards working with Lizel.
The setting I had while starting to work in this new environment was a female superior who was an ice princess. An energetic male superior who I just found confidence oozing from. A male senior in the same position as myself and two older colleagues and then lizel with another female collegue in the same bracket as the young blood squad . We were about 3 that were the same aged kiddos. Complete opposites in this work work work battle field. I was fairly new to everyone and the only person from out of the city.
In the line of work we in there is no time for being insecure or fragile so I never wanted to be friends with someone like lizel . To be honest I sympathized for her cause I remember being in her shoes for just a minute however I bounce back quickly .Unfortunately we don’t all bounce back the same.Yet I was friendly towards her at a distance.
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It took nearly a year to past and a lot of our old squad members had  left .Either into a different  industry or they transferred to different locations .We were then left with just each other and a few of the old seniors in our court.
The two of us are the same in age group from the remaining squad we had. This was when we had just each other to turn to .  We had a sense of familiarity and unspoken trust. We both felt the coming and going of those who surrounded us and have been witness to each others growth . I do recall the first few moments she walked into work with confidence and defended her arguments .
That’s the day I recognized a potential friend . I loved who she was but more who she was becoming. She was pure in her fragile state , She never wanted to step on people’s toes and would spare their feelings in sacrifice of her own emotions. This is good characteristics to possess but not at the expense of your own worth you know what I mean.
She was begining to realise her own potential and measure her worth by the respect she deserved . We became close in the parameters of our work station and we shared lunch .
Giving a friendship a go in my work space made room for a friendship to blossom into my personal life . Thus being the same friendship I would have never intended on having nor imagine blooming on a personal scale.
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When people show up for you when you don’t expect it that’s when you realise that they are there. There as in actually being present for you.  I was having a hard time in my personal life as a result I stayed out of work from having these rushes of panic attacks so servely it would debilate me , She took the time texting me the sweetest get well messages and genuinly sending love to me . I knew this was sincere by the effort it took on the computerized paint program. The different colours and shapes. It is so unfortunate that I don’t have it physically saved but it lives in my heart forever .
Another few times of being ill she drove me to the Dr and would pick me up from my home . No gift could repay that sense of kindness . We then became slightly closer and learned knew ways of nurturing what we had. We shared gifts and shared meals and finally had shared an ultimate girls trip and sleep over .
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We would have never been friends outside work.  If we had met in different circumstances. The odds would be pretty high but in this case giving our friendship a go worked out for the better .
We spent an evening at her living pad I met the bae who you would know all about by catching up on her blog post.
We watched crossroads together for like the 11th time on our own but the first time together. We got an epic roof top picture. We had a picnic and went to the botanical gardens.
We are opposites in so many ways but giving this a go would have been worth the memories than judgement from the corner of my eye and dirty looks . You know the usssssssuge drama girls have when they don’t give each other a chance .
These are just a few of the exceptional moments we recently shared. Do give her blog a browse if you Vibing with her blog style . Do click follow.
Share your thoughts down below if you have similar experiences and dare to ask yourself who in your life is worth taking a shot at ?
Scribbles from my Journal

Let’s pick up where we left off

It has surely been a while but let me start by saying how I have missed you. As per my last blog post. I challenged myself to a 30 day blogging challenge . I have been taged by a blogging bud and it started off amazingly.  Moments with R&L is a fairly new blogger and her fresh and edgy perspective kept me going. You have to read more about her over here.

I threw in the towel at day 21. I know right? So close yet so far. Up until day 21 sticking to this challenge became a lot more challenging as it should. To be honest it  revealed to me so much in the mist of my exhaustion and writers block. I found a sense of purpose for my blog in particular. A lot of the topics should have excited me in ways the post should have been 2000 words or more. For example what’s in my handbag? I love watching those videos and reading other people’s blogs regarding that sort of thing. But it wasn’t my thing or at times when I felt forced to write and ended up doing so half heartedly .

What I took away from the 30 day challenge ?

I had to go back to the drawing board and measure the why’s and what’s about being a bornfreewitht online. Which was perfect! Never be discourage by failing publicly or privately . Guys in all fairness I could have pushed through but I wasnt determined right ? I could have made this challenge my b!#$& but I didn’t have the willingness it took. So this is what I learned . Always see failing as an opportunity to grow. That is exactly my thinking. I now have a clear perspective with what I should be challenging myself and my readers. I have learned that my limit was way to low and my standard of giving up should be a bit higher. I am sure you can relate if one thing goes wrong in your day your attiude start spiraling out of control and more things result in distress.

I have to say this 30 day challenge opened a can of worms . I was amazed by the topics that were thought provoking and that puzzled me for a bit. I loved reading through those past days cause I am reminded how I had no idea where I was headed initially with whatever topic of the day I was approaching. It was really cool getting creative with my experiences and what I had to offer the topic and the challenge. I would still dare you to try challenging yourself for 30 days . Especially if you new to blogging. It might set boundaries for you. You get to discover what you comfortable with. And whether you down for half hearted post. How far you can push yourself and even explore new limits to quitting.  Sometimes it is never about what you fail at or how to measure what you going through its more of how you feel about what you failed at or what you experiencing.

Ever see someone go through the same thing you have gone through but their reaction is the complete opposite to yours . It’s because their feeling is not the same. It’s all about the feels .

About a lengthy one with Nay

At the start of challenging myself  the past month felt shakey for me . I was frustrated in work and my personal life and to my rescue came a beautiful mentor. Our relationship flourished and started by The connect group say what! Have a go at my post detailing the Connect group experience . I almost ended up not going and if I hadn’t . I would have never met Nay. Nay is a gorgeous soul that truly identifies the potential women in me. Our friendship is really indescribable but I will try. I am her about 5 years ago . Where I am at she has been. We met for an afternoon tea party. The first time I had anyone over to our new place since moving. Shaka and I are always out and about with our peeps. So as you can imagine the setting was very intimate, personal New but not awkward in anyway. We haven’t had one on one time before. I started pueking verbally with where I was at in my life how I was feeling. She had recently filmed a testimony of her experiences with our church’s creative team. I unfortunately missed it and so had she. It was played on the screens in church on a Sunday we both hadn’t been present in service . So after having verbal diarrhoea she intervened and said I need to show you something a friend had sent her a clip that was played in church about her sit down interview. And as we watched it together . Everything I had just uttered was an exact reflection of her journey . I was so amazed . We different in so many ways but we found common ground in our 20 something approach to life . Our conversation this late afternoon was a turning point to my month. It opened doors for me.  It gave me a fresh perspective . My mom and I had hour long conversations around this time . I despreatly needed maturity from women who lead by example . To give you an outline I was dissapointed in myself this affected my vibe with shaka and it was a hard time dealing with new experiences I was finding difficult. I didnt know how to resolve them and it became overwhelming to a point. This challenged me in areas a bit more personal than the pages of this blog. Nay’s lengthy Convo gave me courage to be more honest with myself. I had a tendency to sugar coat how I am really doing but she made me so comfy in being raw and unedited . It felt freeing to share things that one would  be more reserved with. I have a feeling Nay will be a feature on this blog more than I realise but I had to share how powerful just doing something can be . Just ending up going to something you might feel hesitant about. What having one on one time with someone could really mean. How freeing being honest with someone can help you and not intimadate you.  It just takes that one push in doing it whatever it is. A call an invite an attendance .

Guard the doors you open. Not all doors can be good for you. But find wisdom in the experiences of life and you will just know . When you open yourself up to people it can shift the tone to the hopes of your life. I can vouch for that. Opening myself up to you gives me hope that you can find refuge in my 20 something voice. Since Nay and I met a few connect sessions later and the usual day to day. Here is what’s to come. A sorter update down below.

What to look forward to

I celebrated my 8 year annivrsary with Shaka it was so sweet. Nicky who I will chat about in my next post gave me life in a day similar to   Friday the 17th. Moments  with R& L and I had an epic girl time adventure. Oh yeah !look forward to our post detailing  our sleep over and roof top picnic. I Recieved an invitation to Sisters of Africa’s conference which is taking place this week over a 3 day course. Lip Synch Sandton take the city had Shaka and I by the balls… I will save the magic of it in post all later this month.

So be sure to plug in and say Hi , comment down below if any of the above has you in feels . I have been reading a great book. In my absence in posting I have been browsing through WordPress and discovered cool bloggers.

It is the start of spring a new chapter and summery do over . This month is going to be a great one. xoxo T

Scribbles from my Journal

Living in Sandton Johannesburg

It has been two years since living in Sandton.  And Girrrrrl let me tell you this has not been the easiest road. I felt I voiced a lot of relatable experiences in my lengthy Convo series. That I wanted to start a New One based off living away from Home as a 20 something year old.

 

Hold Up Wait a Minute let me put my 2 Cents in it

When I relocated from Cape Town I was the first among my peers to dare. I just had my Matric certificated failed attempts at studying. A job in the communication / retail industry and a heart full of enthusiasm for all and more.

My bae Shaka and I were on the edge of dreaming big. I mean bigger than we ever had before.  To move in together. To travel together and hustle together for more. We had not much too loose but our rooms in our parents home.  I guess our dignity if we had to fail. But  ahduh if you don’t know this yet then let me tell you. Failing is growth so either way there wasn’t that much at stake.  You can’t learn from something you haven’t failed at .

Shaka has traveled many times before. I on the other hand did not.  His been to Germany , Las Vegas his been to Jhb More than I can remember. He has traveled on temporary basis  but living in another city is a whole other dimension and to do this together was a New experience for each one of us.

We were dating for 5 years in already.  We never had on and off break up’s . But we  always toughen up through any one of  our fair share ” running on empty experiences”. You know what I mean?  We were past  the infatuation stage and ready to venture big in the real world.

 For more on what it was like relocating click over here

Brace yourself you in for a lengthy one grab a cup of Tea

I am one of those control freaks who is set on being my version of successful. I like so many others dared to relocate for my version of success. I am still trying to figure out what exactly that is. All I know is that right now I am not even close to it

Sandton compared to where I am from is way more

  • Diverse (most people living in Sandton are from all corners of Africa and beyond)
  • People are genuinely more friendly
  • Yes it is a faster pace life compared to Cape Town (Things happen quickly All executive decisions starts here. One Minute people are on a flight and then they back in the office) It is speedy gonzales
  • The opportunities are insane (in every good way) Think about it Sandton is the heart beat of South Africa’s economy
  • Work Culture is lit in so many ways (lunch is so not a thing people don’t just go to work and go home. There is always a network sesh or social happening during the week)
  • Lifestyle is way more than just your personal taste in things. Especially here. The lifestyle in Sandton is about connection and people and wait for it… Travel
  • Success is all around Sandton it never feels far from you

There are a ton more but to give you the just that is my core of why I am still here.

The struggle is Real

My Only heart felt struggle is that I am not synced into any of the above. I am still trying to figure my life out . I found difficulty to thrive in any of the above. I must be doing something wrong. I cant be in the space that I am in. With all that surrounding me and not be flourishing with all the areas I have mentioned.

  • Finding a different company to grow in was a major thing to do on my list of thriving
  • Earning a ton of money in order to save and study or travel ties into this
  • Networking I am getting way better at. Learning how to not just be friends with friends but to find the courage to actually build contacts from those friendships.  I know people who know people but I have never been strategic to thrive with my friendships. I seriously don’t know whats wrong with me. I am afraid I guess of people assuming I want to use them. #OverthinkerStruggles

I feel that for the past two years and counting so much cool things has happened and I have grown a ton but In terms of my goal flow I am in the same place as before . I haven’t been achieving the “big stuff”.

There have been a few times where I was just too hard on myself and of course wanted to throw in the towel over here

I had a lengthy Convo with my Mom a few days ago. About this and things we generally don’t talk about. This was a 45 min call . I was on the roof top of where I work .  I Had a good cry and just soaked in the energy of the sunset and busyness of  Sandton. The sun was a gorgeous pink with red and yellow undertones . People were literally walking below the building with suite cases on their way to the Gaustation. The horizon of the skyscrapers were finding rest while the work day came closer to an end. Traffic was at it’s peek already and on the other side of the building you could view the peacefulness of the residential estates.

To be honest I am puzzled I just came through piecing my emotions together. This Blog space is the coolest ventilation machine ever. Sharing this for the heart that is meant to read it. Blows breath into my journey. I shared this with you guys because I know what it is like to get advice from a turtle instead of a giraffe.  You can’t explain to a giraffe what a turtle can only understand. Td Jakes couldn’t have said it any better over here

You wanna move down ?

 By all means I say do it.  You don’t have to move here permanently.  You can always transfer back to wherever home is for you. I haven’t met any one my age that wanted to be here till the end of time. We always yearning for more. I see myself settling down in Cape Town. But I feel comfortable here now. Of course I don’t want to be here for quite too long. The bae and I do want to travel and live and work abroad.

 My advice

Things never go according to plan & our paths won’t be alike if you had to try. A lot of my friends found Job success way quicker than  I did. Some never liked it. But from my experience there is more positives than negatives that came out of daring to do this.  You live you learn and grow.  It is always easy to attain everything. The hard part is to maintain it kinderish but what is even harder is to afford to have more.

The following is normally factors to consider when relocating things I thought about but didn’t fathom until I experienced it myself.

Traveling 

I have had many instances where I was in the position well we were , the bae and I. To splurge on a car but we both live and work walking distance from work. So was it really going to be beneficial? We want to travel and we were both in agreement that we don’t need a car right now and right here. Public transport I have never had an issue with around Sandton. When we need to travel a bit further out we go along with friends Uber or Sleep Over. Young Wild and Free Vibes.

Crime

I have never felt uncomfortable or unsafe around Sandton. Of course their are incidents that occur like everywhere else. I read the Sandton Chronicle.  But nothing dramatic traumatized me other than my own emotional drama like I can never win chants.  Fortunately where I have always lived. We have boom gates and private security. My previous studio apartment came with a panic button , home alarm , gate control. But remember nothing is guaranteed. You just have to be cautious and use your common sense to avoid crime. We were at a bar once in Braamfontein. We had a great time and then there was this obvious drunk f@!% who wanted to get slutry with me. And we just left and went to a better bar that we wouldn’t have found if that never happened.  So remain positive at all times.

Rentals

Look there are places that are expensive and there are places which is reasonable. Our first studio apartment was in Rivonia which was super convenient for work and traveling.  We paid R4400 for an open plan studio living pad. We had a garden pool and tennis court. Security. Laundry could be done on the premises.  This included water and electricity. Partial furniture was added too. It was enough room for the two of us. We had  and spacious if we had people over. The landlord was just such and ass. Over time as per normal rent does increase and you just get over all your landlords B@!3s%&*

Living Expenses

Compared to Cape Town Spaza shops is not a thing around Sandton. Spice shops are ridiculously over priced here compared to home. Here is no stores like Shoprite Pep or Makro. You have to travel out. In a nutshell food and essentials watch out for checkers and PnP  and WoolWorths specials. They worth the pocket change that you will have left.

Ask For help

People are generally willing to guide or advice you if you had to ask. Reach out to people in a sincere manner. I know what it is like to be in a new town overwhelmed by your own expectations. I had so much pride I eventually had steam coming from my ears after running empty not knowing how to cope at times I feel like I have failed. Try chatting to a stranger which is quite normal that’s how friendly people are here. Your uber driver the gaubus driver. The person next to you on a bench. Most times they respond to you in a non judgmental way.

Call Home

Those calls home meant everything to me especially in the beginning before things even got hard. I feel like it’s always best to not call just when you in trouble but make up for the time missed out. Ask what’s for supper. How your grandparents health are. If there is anything new and how the things are that may be old. Besides people cant help but share tragic news either which are golden convos that remind you why you in a new place and never loose sight of that ultimate reason. No matter how home sick you are. Video calls are the funniest. Pretending to fake phone freeze. The time whatsap call had no audio and I would write down my response on post notes and show it to the camera.

In case of Emergency

Have that savings account for that emergency rush to the hospital or flight home whatever. Get that credit card and be wise with it. Also have your ducks in a row register a local gp in your new city and keep your secondary gp at home. Find out what your registered hospital is for your medical aid plan. Update your emergency contact No. Have a emergency list in your new home. For private cabs or the local police station. Whatever you can think of in case of emergency. Have them thought out practically.

 

 

 

 

Scribbles from my Journal

Top 10 Entrepreneur Secrets

How to stop being just an employee by Keith Camelon Smith

This is a bit different for me. This is a sort of Book review but real talk entrepreneurship session. If you read Sticky Situations in Sandton.  You will know that after high school I struggled. I knew I couldn’t go study like everyone else. I needed to get a job. More importantly I needed to gain experience because everyone was looking to hire someone with experience.

 It was really tough I tried a lot of things. That year 2013 I sat at home basically unemployed.  I wasn’t really at home all day but that’s what they say when you don’t have a permanent J.O.B. I would go with Shaka to the library and apply to available vacancies and varsity even though I knew I had no money. I applied to nonpaying internships. A lot of the places I mailed never advertised nonpaying internships.  I just requested anyway. While I was on Cape Town Tv . That’s right but for now let me digress. 

Start Up Company experience

I interned at a startup registered company called DMC. My role was to market this start up on social media. It was BEE registered. I was in the process of being signed up legally for shares. Even though the company wasn’t really making money yet. I just absolutely lived each day for this experience.

I went with them to apply for tenders. Went to the manufacturing and supply headquarters. I even got to attend seminars and SMME workshops .Every day we had something lined up.  I corresponded with sales and marketing divisions from local shopping center management.

 Learning the how to and being exposed to entrepreneurial culture.  I worked with the owners. For 4 months till things fell apart. I learned on the go however the co-founder gifted me this book How to stop being just an employee by Keith Camelon Smith. 

I read it from start to finish.  There is nothing complicated about this book. l felt that the language used was easily understandable for my age at the time . The lessons learned in the book can vary. It’s not only about how to be a better boss but how you as an employer view your employees.  What the difference is between the two also.

I read this book years ago. It was 2013 I was 19 years old. I wrote a few things down in my journal.

Here are a few tips from the book. 

  • Differences between rich and poor is the mindset. Your mind is more important than your bank account. Don’t measure your dreams by the value in your bank account. You can’t be a rich person with a poor mindset. 
  • Train yourself to have a rich mindset. Whatever the brain can conceive it can achieve .The mind is strengthened at its best when it overcomes fear .What are you afraid of failing? If you don’t fall you will never know how to get back up. It’s a part of learning and knowing how to do better. 
  • Business is about people and learning how to relate and communicate with people. 
  • Connect and communicate with people in ways that inspire them to take action

Not giving too much away. No spoilers alert. If you can give this book a go. It took me a total of 4 evenings. To read and comprehend and journal notes. I think this is relevant to your day to day job and blogging spirit. 

Comment down below if you know the entrepreneurial struggle. What self-help books has guided you xoxo T

Scribbles from my Journal

20 Things for My 20 something Bucket List

Oh Miss Golly Molly here it goes… My declaration to myself before you

First off if you don’t know Your girl Shameless you welcome. Shameless Manifesto you can find here 

Shameless Maya – YouTube

“What would happen if I shamelessly promoted myself for 365 days?” My channel started out as a social media experiment and now it’s a lifestyle. I hope my jo…

so why are we being introduced to Maya when I am suppose to tell you about how I am going to kick ass with my Bucket List. Well stating this online and doing this in my personal time. Is measured on two different scales.  Maya has helped me in my personal time. If she has for me then hopefully she can pull through for you. 

Sharing this with You

Today the 21 July 2017. I declare that I will Embrace My 20’s. I will live for working hard on meaningful ventures. I will be active in community & will love and connect with people around me.  I will see the world beyond the parameters of South Africa’s back doors. I won’t limit my dreams based on my bank account. I have 7 Year’s to complete my 20 something Bucket List.

In my previous post I have listed how I got this situation started. I have looked at 4 areas and have listed 20 “must do items ” that I will have to complete before I am 30.

Here is my 20 Something Bucket List

Embrace the 20’s

  1. Find my personal Fashion Style. To rock Tutus and take as many pictures that will last for the ages. Those vintage style images of my 20 something fashion Chronicles. If you cant go to fashion week be fashion week.
  2. Apartment Living Oasis . I always wanted a studio Apartment so now that I have been able to live in one. I really want to make effort into turning everyone of my living spaces into an oasis. Home Diy’s in door plants intentional decor and such.
  3. Host and Attend epic home dinner parties and game nights. I want to experience night life. Attend socials as often as possible.
  4. No matter how far away from Home I am . That I will always post letters to my girls. My best friend , my cousins, God Daughter and  baby  Sister.

Shaka

  1. We are going to live in L.A & The U.K before the end of our 20s This is our Bucket List B!@#$
  2. We have to do more fun things as far as possible. Anything spontaneous and childlike. Including Kissing more , having planned date nights hiking laying on grass all things apologetically fun!
  3. To study together whether it may be a short course or longer courses. Our licenses for scooters and cars or whether it is finishing his graphic designing diploma or a start of whatever my heart beats to get a degree in.
  4. Most importantly sharpen our faith. To be more active in all things Rivers (our church) and just know more about God together.

Community

  1. Get connected. When I moved to Sandton all my neighbors walls were gigantic we hardly knew our neighbors. I want to get to know my neighbors each one of them Even if they don’t like me.
  2. To vote and be registered in my community for elections
  3. Take on Charitable Projects which are self hosted
  4. To engage in community drives and activities

Relationships

  1. Host a big Christmas with Family & Friends
  2. To have quality time spend with people who surround me
  3. Talk more to my grandparents
  4. Have the ultimate Girls Trip

 Work

  1. Build a name in the digital Space
  2. To Build a community of online friends
  3. My goal is to create long lasting friendships from my online buddies
  4. #goals to grow this into a full time creative thing. Wouldn’t  it be ideal to have this your 9-5 job

if you haven’t tried a bucket list before well here is to a start of something new for you and me both. Comment if you find any common thread also drop down your bucket list adventures. Either done and dusted or jotted and attempted.I would love to hear your take on it.

Scribbles from my Journal

How to create a 20 something Bucket List

How easy is starting a Bucket List

At first I didn’t find doing a bucket list online as easy as everyone else . I really had to think about mine. I googled examples but I couldn’t relate to the first few samples I saw. Do you know the feeling?

Whenever I am puzzled in ways I want to find personal growth. I try and paper my thoughts. I take a step back from what I am doing. Scribble in my journal. Mind map where I am at.Make notes of What is it that I would like to be better at . The next obvious step is to be practical with the how and take action of course.

Real talk advice from a school Teacher

I learned this from a high school teacher. I remember being bitter at the way I looked . I was skinny and tall . I got tease for it. I had really bad acne I was insecure about not having a ton of friends like Mrs Lewis. And here is this teacher who is going on and on about making a list and to change the things you want to change . I was like how is a list going to change how I feel. Are you kidding me ? I was prim and proper during my Primary School Years but their would always be that skunk who would troll on my image. I don’t hold grudges  I am just expressive alllll…..right!

But really now making a list? This is not going to stop someone from saying hurtful things to me . I went to this teacher after class and I said what was on my mind . I expressed how personal and frustrating it was to hear that lesson when I felt like it was no good to me. Once I finished and she advised me . I was so relieved that I had said it. I blurred things out I wouldn’t generally say .

Saying how I felt was such a relief.  But I couldn’t always go to someone who I felt would appreciate my vulnerability. I didn’t want my teachers to see me differently.  I wanted to be known as responsible and a girl with great potential . Not someone who was troubled with insecurities.  So I journal-ed .

If you stuck journal on or try the accountable thing

Having a diary was hard because my grandmother would read it. Despite finding new places to hide them. When I found Shaka my bae . I finally trusted someone enough to share things with. I had a journal at his place . I kept dating him as a secrete too . Oh well that is a story for another day. We were not the ideal fit for my family and understandably so. He was much older than I was.

I still have the tendancy to be very private . I don’t confront anyone easily.  If I am in pain I have this natuarl urge to resist sharing my heartache with anyone because of how use to” keeping things private “has always been for me .

Consider the  times I told people how I felt and they ran off to share that to someone else . To get the just it would be a friend at school or church member or a relative . Yo alot of people in my circle did me wrong with privacy but I don’t love them any less. They are who they are. In the end this helped shaped me .

If you can relate drop your experiences down in the comments

Scribbles from my Journal

My 20 Something Bucket List

Every Part of me is going Nuts for this Post here is why?

Haaaay Babes if you have been enjoying my blog reads. I just want to say thank you for taking the time to catch up with me. I love making friends from across the globe on this platform. If you new a warm welcome to you. The best place to start is Sticky Situations in Sandton .

When you guys visit my site I always want you to feel like it’s about to go down lol

Here is what you need to know about this Blog Journey 

  • I am a growing blogger & You-tuber and that means we are
  • I am from Cape Town South Africa writing from Sandton Jhb
  • I am 23 years old  hence the 20 something convo’s
  • I am here to be what other bloggers has been for me
  • My topics are my personal experiences and creative things anyone can try.

Before Blogging I was a Scrapbook Queen

Before this blog or in fact before I was ever introduce to bloggers and Pinterest or other medium’s similar. I use to scrap book as a Kid. I would cut out all those bomb ass images. From date night Ideas , Fashion and whatever inspo spoke to me. I would paste these images in a scrapbook. Write little notes next to them. They would be something along the lines of how bad I want to experience a romantic memory or Why I need those boots. A lot of my unexpected memories I was proud to experience also went in my scrapbook. Like the first time I was on a train far away from home . Or my first flight ticket.

Scrap booking now

I still kinder nurture my scrapbook. I love having a browse through it especially  this past winter.  I feel like during these colder times when you particularly don’t want to be outdoors. This is a great artsy fartsy soul session for you. I will say there is nothing better than kicking it old school. There is something so satisfying about recreating a blank page into a hearty frame of hopefulness.

Bucket List

Anyhoo as I grew older I heard the term bucket list from the movie Bucket List. Over the years this has become such a thing. Unknowingly I had a bucket list compiled in my scrapbook.  Which later I started doing vision boards. I signed up for Pinterest and now I have decided to go public on my very own online diary.

Here is a few facts about Bucket Listing if you don’t already know . To be fair some of these I never knew until right now .

  1. The term bucket list means what
  2.  There are blogs dedicated to Bucket Listing
  3.  There are published books about Bucket List 

I can’t invest my time into things that don’t have intention or a depth of meaning. The worst thing is wanting something for myself that doesn’t add value to anyone else” but myself”. So I drew up a mind map of where I am right now and who I would like to be . Of course my bucket list is my how to. I don’t like to overwhelm myself with things I hope for when I am at grandma’s stage. So I put together  a practical yet daring “must do” on my bucket list .

I thought about where I am right now

  1.   I am Open to love private about sex. I have a long term bae Shaka
  2.  I am 23 years old living in Sandton Jhb
  3. I am from Cape Town Mitchell’s Plain A large township created by apartheid.Established in the 70s for “coloured people”. The township house middle income families facing socio-economic disadvantages. Example gansterism and drug abuse.
  4. I have a compassionate heart & want to offer my best to people
  5. My J.O.B I work in the communication industry. Sales & marketing strategist since 2014 in retail branches.

 

How I would love to grow

  1. Do more fun things with Shaka and take ourselves less seriously. To also grow in our faith together.
  2. To be active in my community whether it be in Cape Town or Sandton currently. To be politically active vote and be involved in community projects.
  3.  I want to better myself in areas I can grow in. Study and travel
  4.  To create an online name in the digital space. Growth on my blog and YouTube channel.
  5. To nurture relationships & connect more to people around me

I divided those areas into categories

 

  • Embracing the 20s
  • Community
  • Shaka
  • Relationships
  • Work

In spirit of being 20 something I have listed 20 “must do’s” on my bucket list. I divided 4 between each category.

If you have tried doing a bucket list leave your blog post or thoughts on your experiences in the comments below.  I would love to read up on yours xoxo T

To be continued

Scribbles from my Journal

Lengthy Conversations with my Best Friend

Lenghthy Convo is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having” long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

Mrs Lewis

I can’t stop the beating heart of a 19 year friendship. Mrs Lewis is a huge part of my life and she will be a big chunk of my blog space so please catch up if you haven’t already.

We have been best friends for most of our lives . Our friendship of course experienced highs and lows. We had our not on “speaking term” moments . Our parents always prepped us for the time we would out grow each other. We complete opposites and have only a few things in common . My grandmother never liked my best friend for such a long time because of our differences so that conflict really added to our odds .

What worked in our favor was that we were each others first loves . We adored each other so much . We had great admiration for one another .She inspired me in so many ways , I inspired her too. We could dream big and not be ashamed of wanting similar things that felt impossible.

The thing is when we shared our crazy dreams with our other friends they would always want what we wanted . Or would bash our hearts desire’s and share them with their friends .They never safe guarded our dreams . Does this ring a bell to you?

Mrs Lewis and I protected each others fantasy and hopes. We kept them to ourselves.

 We could trust sharing things to each other that might have not made sense to everyone  else . We prayed  for each other more than we prayed for ourselves . We wrote letters and diary entries that would be kept at her house . In my home they wouldn’t be safe because my grandmother would always read through my journal . Our diary entries were never anything drastic it was just things that we wanted or how we felt and we never wanted anyone to shame us for the way we felt or the things we wanted .

We always had lengthy convo’s about all of the above .

We appreciated a unspoken pack that was made clear in our lengthy conversation.  When she told me anything hearty I knew I would treasure her vulnerability till the day I die. She didn’t even have to say please lets just keep this between us. This is why we don’t have to see each other 24/7. And hear from each other all the time , we shared an understanding that not just anyone could hack .

Lengthy meaningful convo’s were a great part of that.

Like I mentioned we were complete opposites. we had our own group of friends .For our 12 year of schooling together  . She would hang out with kids that I wouldn’t necessarily see eye to eye with but I always wondered why when all our friends were gone we would always find ourselves alone talking about things we wouldn’t normally chat to our daily friends about.

Those prayers letters and lengthy convo’s shaped they way I appreciate a great friendship today. We live in different cities currently she’s a wife and mom with a great job.  I am so lucky to have learned all that I have from our lengthy Convo’s

   “Best Friends are a promise not a label”

Comment below if you share a similar friendship or what great memories formed out of your lengthy convo’s with a best friend .

Scribbles from my Journal

Lengthy Convo with Shaka’s Mom

Mama Shaka

 Lengthy Convo Lessons

Lenghthy Convos is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having “long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

Shaka My bae’s mom have a heart of gold . She can talk for hours . I have learned so much from her though .  They say a girl Chooses a guy who resembles her father and vice versa for a guy. As much as Shaka’s mom and I have a few things in common. We differ in ways I wish I could be more like her.

  1. She has patience
  2. She is a peoples person
  3. She loves doing things on her own

I am quite the opposite. I admire all those characteristics and have been trying to better myself.

I will admit there is way more to love about her than just the few that I admire . She raised a son who has a heart of gold too. This would top the rest .

She is so open . I could ask her anything. Lately I have sucked in staying in touch with her more. I have been so occupied in work and things happening closer to me . I haven’t made the effort to value who she is more than I should .

This post I would like to dedicate to her for the lessons she has taught me.

She leads by example in every thing she has unknowingly taught me . I would watch her be away from home for work. When she finally returns home she still ooze with energy and compassion for others . She would make time to go to her friends down the  street. I have been such a loner as a kid I only had Mrs Lewis and Shaka . I am so comfortable with being on my own. If I come home from work sometimes . I don’t want to have Shaka squeeze me the way he does .

I could be in a room full of people but would rather be alone . I am a total Gemini. She has shown me that if you value what’s important and you try and engage with people despite how you feel in that moment . Talking to someone is way more valuable than being one sided. You not only feel empowered by engaging in conversation. You don’t just add something to the table. Other people evolve from you too. They gain a sense of knowledge or comfort in knowing they spent  time with you.

We always talk about her past. What  she was like when she was younger . How she felt when she was my age . The last time I went home to cape town .I spent time with her. I took a trip by myself Shaka had to stay in Sandton for work. I slept over by her for a few days . She showed me older pictures . We had a pamper sesh. We went to the cinema. We visited relatives of Shaka whom I had never met before . We had lots of lengthy Convos .

I don’t feel like I am great at being present for her in the same light that she has been. I hope to hold onto opportunities like this while striving to create more .

Potential mother in laws while they still present shouldn’t be an insecure factor like it’s been for me .

She taught me tricks in the kitchen like 1 min pizza base. Her fav tart recipes or just that beautiful cup of tea.

You can always count on her for availing her heart. She would share a scripture for  you if it was your birthday . The first time she sat me down on my birthday I felt her warmth for the very first time . As she read me a verse she had her hands on mine. This was so unforgettable.

If it’s not your potential mother in law but someone who leads by example with connecting you to other people . Leave an experience in the comments below .