Lengthy Convo Lessons
Lenghthy Convos is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having “long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends
I don’t quite know where a “Young Love with Shaka Series” will lead to. What I do know is that my relationship with him is worth sharing with every girl I know. I learned to love myself through being his friend first. I value things like communication and honesty because of him. I have been able to embrace being a feminist side by side with him. Together we sort of cutting edge I think with No filter. From the get go our relationship didn’t start off on an impressive foot. However where we are now is what I want to Introduce you to.
For those of you who are New Shaka is my bae for the longest time ever. I shared with you lessons my Aunt passed onto me and how she taught me how to be open to love and private about things like sex.
But in a nut shell ever since I was a kid. I knew I wanted a ton of kids. I loved an ideal wedding but I never imagined lasting in a relationship with the perfect man. I grew up in so to speak in a “broken home”.This was my normal I don’t feel disadvantaged by it or wired differently . I just didn’t know better than what I did at the time. Comment down below if you can relate.
I have seen great models of stabled relationships but when times got rough in those relationships . I never liked the gutty scenery and emotion that came with it. So how was I going to last in a relationship anyway. Especially when I will watch chronicles of rage from a kids point of view. Telling myself one day when I am big it will never happen to me. I quit believing in marriage for a while. Until I met Shaka.
When we started dating I told him I want to adopt babies. I wanted to be a mom someday I just couldn’t see myself with a husband. My mom and dad never tied the knot and for a long time in my upbringing who gets to use their surname was always a thing that I didn’t have time for so I just had to throw that in there. I told him I wanted kids but didn’t see the point in being married to have them. Again my sense of normal. I didn’t want my kid to be like oh let’s visit dad this weekend and spend next weekend with mom you know. So I was down with adoption for more reasons than that of cause.
His views differed. I was feeling his vibe and was totally into him. As much as we were vibing I never thought about loving him. Until he said he loved me. I was like saaaay whaaaat. He was walking me home not too long after we started dating and he just puked the words out casually. I L.O.V.E Y.O.U
This dude want his own kids. He sees his future with me as his wife . Like naaaah bra we not on the same page. Knowing that I had opposing views from him. He still said he loved me. We talked and talked for hours on Vodacoms night shift after 12 am. We had lengthy convos about all that I have mentioned above.
Today we still dating and I have opened myself up to love beyond my expectations. I considered marriage. The more I grew in my faith and learned how to love myself. The more my heart was opened to expanding my views on what “normal” is for me.
44 more days till we 8 years together. We traveled on flights. We moved in together. I now want my own kids and would like to adopt after I have one of my own. HUGE right lol but slow down guys all in due time and none of it soon o.k.a.y
Having lengthy convos really enhanced my perspective not exactly alter it.
This taught me that romantic relationships require lengthy engagements before you can really build confidence in each other.