Scribbles from my Journal

” We not going to Last” Relationship Convo Part 1

Lengthy Convo’s with my Aunt

Lenghthy Convos is a Series on My Blog that detail a few lessons that I have learned from having “long conversations”. These conversations were personal encounters I shared with Family and Friends

Keeping this totally 100 with you . You guys are familiar with Shaka the bae who I have chatted so much about on my blog . We have been dating for 7 years and counting.We about to mark an 8 year and counting love fest .

Anyhoo fast forward to pre Shaka I never ever saw myself getting married or having a long time bae . I have seen too much drama in relationships and never liked the way I cringed when I saw my aunts and uncles argue . The shouting , the revenge and manipulation.  I felt like those scenarios belonged on days of our lives . The mind of a kid right? This had no place in the real world. I didn’t see myself being with a dude I could have babies with . I knew I wanted lots of kids but since 11 years old I totally dreamed about adopting .

In and around where I grew up divorces , singles moms and dads were the way it was for a reason . None of them turned out as a happy ending . I knew I wanted to date and have boyfriends I just didn’t imagine how it would last . I was born into a split parent family-hood so this was my sense of normal anyway.

I had lengthy convos with all the women close to me . I can boast about how open and honest they all were to me at such a young age. My one aunt Adele has always been enthusiastic towards never loosing your sense of wonder. Shes the only adult I know who loves Christmas more than kids . She kinda made me fall in love with the possibility of marriage and choosing to love someone with their flaws . She consoled my idea of an imperfect forever kind of love.

Lets talk about Sex

At 11 12 13 14 years of age I received the “sex talk” but not in the way that parents normally make kids feel .  It wasn’t All cringed or Yucky.A few women scared the wacky doodle out of me about “ DOING IT” . Then there was those women who could see the potential grown up in me .  Their lengthy Convos about sex talk to me were pinnacle!

An aunt put sex for marriage to me like this . A group of people were talking about their sex lives and luckily around that age I over heard the convo and was comfortable enough to ask her about it. Brave was I huh?

She said There is a reason why sex should be between those who are married because it should only be shared between two people.  Intimacy was created for two people and how this is a private interaction.  She asked rhetorically How would you like it if your partner shared with another individual what was happening in your pants . And I felt that personal invasion and loss of respect just by the way she explained it. Now thank goodness she never reacted embarrassed and withheld her opinion. If she never shared  that with me at such a young age . I would have ran off to all my friends for a kiss and tell . I guess I  would not have valued intimacy the way I do .

This might be controversial but this is how a lengthy convo with amazing women really impacted the adultee I am proud to be .

Share something in the comments below on how a lengthy “Relationship” convo influenced you .


5 thoughts on “” We not going to Last” Relationship Convo Part 1

  1. I don’t think I ever had the sex talk with my mum but I’m sure it would have gone something similar to yours. My mum never wanted to impose certain things on me but trusted that my faith and the way she lived her life would lead me to make the right decisions for me. We kinda have long convos about relationships but in a way we both know what we are trying to say without saying the actual words (you know what I mean?).

    I Love reading stories like yours! I’m currently in my first relationship and wonder whether to talk about these things but I love how you have put it in a way that doesn’t say too much but says enough for you to relate to. Thanks for sharing girl xx

    Liked by 1 person

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